Being fiercer than
I've ever been
My life always
Has a different plan
I know we don't become
Monsters overnight
We don't forget our worth
Whenever it's convenient
It's something that builds up
Slowly over time
Questioning yourself
Starts at a tender age and
When the answers don't come
You wrap yourself in layers
And a mask that become
Harder to shed
With each passing year
I have circles under my eyes
My tongue has sharpened
Like a knife
Carving doubts
On the walls of this
Scarred heart of mine
Tonight I sipped
Vodka and pomegranate
Until I felt lost at sea
Too numb to care
Too gone to cry
Recalling my dreams
To breakthrough the doors
Into the light
Uphill
Full
Speed
Ahead
Telling you
"I have to go
I can't talk to you
While doing this"
I'm awake now
I wish I wasn't
I cry myself to sleep
And still rise
With oceans pouring
From my eyes
I want to comfort you
But all I feel is a
Fiery hot rage
That I don't know how
To extinguish
You punch through doors
Begging for forgiveness
I run far away
Begging for stillness
I just want this rope bridge
To stop swinging between us
I lose my balance with each step
Falling backwards
Instead of moving ahead
How lost have we have become
In this nightmare we've created
I search for the light
Praying that the darkness
Does
Not
Consume
Us.
~Amber C. Smith 2015
