Orpine Drive

I would wake to the sound

Of her screaming his name

Knowing she loved him

Forgetting he was gone

I would try to soothe her

As she shook in my arms

Valium can only numb you

For so long

Leaving a hole and ache

Larger than when it

Entered your bloodstream 

I had never seen my grandmother

So lost, alone, and suffering

I traveled 600 miles to comfort her

And didn't know where to begin

Seeing me would make her happy

Until she remembered why I was there

She refused to eat

But made sure I was fed

I brushed her hair

I painted her nails

Strange I know

But when the Titanic 

Was sinking 

I read somewhere that

Women rushed to the mirror

To apply lipstick

We are always trying 

To make things beautiful

Even death

I lost my appetite

To clove cigarettes

Whiskey and insomnia 

A stranger in my hometown

I came and left

Like the ghost of him.

~Amber C. Smith (November 2014)

Spun Silk

It's been a cold, dark week

The kind that test your will

And the fight you have left

Winter is not even here yet

I say to myself

Stepping into another 

Hour long bath

Covering myself with blankets

Hiding from the outside world

Books, music, and movies 

Comforting my weary heart 

But today 

It's snowing dandelions

The clouds are spun silk

My legs and feet are 

Bare white porcelain

Under the long forgotten Sun

The wind is restless like my soul

Playfully tugging at my hair

As I sit silently still

Breathing it all in

Reminding myself why I am here

For this moment I am grateful .

~Amber C. Smith (November 2014)