Oxygen

Suffocating 

Trapped under glass

In this menagerie

For eager eyes

To pick apart

And burn me

At the stake

Beating

Fist bloodied

On broken shards

Trying to escape

To fill my lungs

Feel the Sun

And live again.

Charlotte Sometimes

He said I wanted to give you a hug last week but was afraid.....

I replied you're lucky you didn't, I may have shattered

Breaking into millions of tears

That form into tidal waves

Carelessly destroying 

All that surrounds me

I have voids in me that may never be filled

And it's brutal watching people you love

Killing themselves by trying to fill them

Sometimes it's easier to stay angry

To feel selfish, alone, and unlovable 

Because the pain is too real

And my heart may burst

From the gentle kindness

Of arms 

Being 

Wrapped 

Around me

By a stranger.

~Amber C. Smith (July 2013)

"Charlotte sometimes crying for herself

Charlotte sometimes dreams a wall around herself

But it's always with love

With so much love it looks like

Everything else

Of Charlotte sometimes

So far away

Glass sealed and pretty

Charlotte sometimes."

Nightswimming

These Summer nights thick with humidity

Where your skin glistens in the moonlight

And the alcohol is more intoxicating 

It's easy to feel young and hopeful again

Trying to capture that fleeting innocence

Like children chase fireflies in the twilight

I sink into the heaviness of the night

The weight of my body feeling lighter

With each sip, conversation, and smile

The ghosts I keep as secrets

Fade slowly into the darkness

All that matters is the present

Fuck the future

What has it ever promised me

But disappointment and anxiety

I want the feeling of not knowing 

And being content with it

To dive into the possibility of now 

Savoring every moment of it~

~Amber C. Smith (July 2013)

Summer Haze

Here it comes

The hazy sun

Shedding light

On all

That's gone wrong

Whiskey soaked sheets

Apologies trapped by teeth

The night makes easy company

Don't try to save me 

I'm too far gone

Don't try to love me

My edges are too sharp and

I will only break your heart.

~Amber C. Smith (July 2013)