~Her fist were clenched so tight
That her nails carved crescent scars in her palms
Something to make her feel the pain
To distract her and become numb
To the madness that surrounded her
Walking circles in the carpeted floor
Spiraling in and out of the conversation
Clutching the phone while dying inside
Her father was missing again
Last seen stumbling across 49th street
Drunk & stoned out of his mind
The call came too early in the morning
To be normal
The kind that wakes you from your sleep
Of self medicated bliss
Trembling to confront reality
Her brother was on the other end
Screaming and begging for help
We've got to find him
Their father was loved & hated
Equally
They knew how broken he was
And could not blame him
For wanting to self destruct
They were use to the chaos
The wanting and needing
To be loved by him
To be enough to make him change
But that never happened
We will find him she said
He will turn up when he's out of money
In need of another fix
But that doubt always tugged at her
What if he didn't
What if this really was the last time
Their last meeting was forced and awkward
He was frail and trembling
His eyes were cloudy and yellow
And she thought if she touched him
He would shatter into a million pieces
The shame & regret
Haunted her every night
Running was the only option left
She ran as far away as she could
Not realizing how easily
The past could find her~
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