Shatter

How lost I have become 

In these woods of yours

You, the cowardly wolf

Howling silently 

At a Moon that

You will never 

Have the courage 

To be illuminated by

Ego bruised

Like my thighs

I tried to stay

So soft

For 

So long

But my veneer

Is ready to 

Shatter 

At your feet

Into a million

Sharp pieces

That your feeble

And bloody fingers

Will never 

Be able to piece

Back together again.

Amber Comber 2016

Promises

I promise to not open my heart

For every wounded soul 

I promise to not wear my headphones

Whilst walking the train tracks

I promise to get more sleep

I promise to eat better

I promise to take a break 

From the whiskey
When the bottles
Disappear faster than
I can pay for them.

I have been playing house
For years now
Loving everyone but myself
Becoming lonely and numb
To all that surrounds me
Soaking in long hot baths
To remove the pain and doubt
I still come out feeling
Unwashed and unworthy
One day I will remember

All the beauty

I have experienced 

And tears of happiness
Will pour from my eyes.

I have claw mark wounds
Flooding like rivers
Hemorrhaging from inside
When it comes to misery

I have the mind of an elephant 

I can never fucking let go
I know now that I have to
Before it consumes me
Even if I have to burn
It all to begin again.

Amber C. Smith 2016

Crescent? Burn and Destroy? Insert title here...

Soul of metal

Heart of stone

I howl 

Alone

Burn  

destroy x4

Trying to keep

Us sane

Far beyond

This fucking pain

Sacrifice and

No ones right

The sins

Have stained us all

Burn 

And 

Destroy x's 4

In the darkness 

Of the night

Where No one 

Can hear you fight

I will hold you

Still and tight

Quiet those demons

That claw from inside

The crescent moon

Pulls you in

Burn all you know 

To begin again x2

Unraveling

It's  astounding 

How quickly

One can unravel

As the world carries 

On all around them

Leaving a trail

Of blood 

Tears and

Self worth 

Behind you

That even 

The flowers

Have to weep 

As you walk by

And sacrifice

Themselves

To the concrete

Just to try 

To soften

Your step.

~Amber C. Smith 2015

Anna's Atalaya

The walls were painted

The color of the sea

I could hear the waves

Crashing in the distance

Wandering the terraces 

That were used

To sculpt and write on

The ghost of inspiration

Heavy in the air

The sun and salt

Kissing my skin

I want to feel at peace 

The way Anna must have 

Confident in my purpose

Empowered to create

And share my passion 

But the doubts 

Have been hovering 

About me

Like vultures

Waiting to attack 

I have been clawing at my skin

Since I was six years old

Anytime I'm overwhelmed

My nails find my flesh

I don't draw blood 

Like I used to

Only when it gets really bad

I released my father's ashes

At sunrise into the 

Same ocean that

Surrounds Atalaya 

The dunes are wild 

The sand is soft 

Like spun silk

Until the sharp

Spurs and shells

Find my winter feet

I walk to find

Where the water

Meets the shore

Letting it carry away 

Some of this weight 

With each gentle current

I am numb to the cold

As I have been to 

My life lately

Placating others and 

Forgetting myself

With each passing day

We found a pair of black boots 

Left in the old servants quarters

They were exactly my size

I am ready to slip them on

And finally find myself

A vision and journey 

I know now that 

Only I can take and 

A defiant spirit

To not be molded

From the eyes 

Of someone else.

~Amber Comber 2015

Sparrow Blue

Some days I feel like Sylvia

Opening the oven door

When Anais walks

Into the kitchen

And reminds me to live

Feel the flush of my skin

When he whispers in my ear
My heartbeat like a drum
Desirous of everything

Cocooned in satin at

The sound of Billie's voice

Tasting the subtle notes

Of the Bordeaux 

As it hits my tongue

Trickles down my throat

Sets fire to my belly

Bicycling down steep hills

As the wind 

slam-dances 

With me...

But It's been six days

Since I've seen

Our city's skyline
The tops of the buildings
Swallowed by a thick
Suffocating fog

And I feel I am being

Carried away with it

The sky won't stop

Weeping and the

Atmospheric pressure

Crushes my heart 

A little more each day

It's taking all my strength

To avoid a shallow life

Dive deep within myself

To find the answers

Be filled purpose

And to know 

I cannot save anyone

I can only love them

Including myself...

~Amber C. Smith 2015

Seahorses

Encased in glass with water and shells 

Two seahorses floated beside her bed

The chaos was always heavy in the air

She wanted to be anywhere but here

I would just lay on my stomach

Hypnotized by the two seahorses 

Afraid to see the wildness in her eyes

Making contact was always dangerous

It was smarter to look away

But it was like watching a beautiful storm

That pulls you in while 

Destroying 

Everything

That stands in its way.

~Amber C. Smith 2015