Lost Sunlight

We walked along the railroad tracks

To lead us to school and back home

You and me with our 

Mismatched

High top

Pink and yellow converse

Graffitied with The Cramps, Dead Kennedys, and Circle Jerks

Middle school was fucking brutal

Beating us down daily 

Walking those tracks with you

Was the only thing I looked forward to

I would watch the sunlight 

Getting lost in your 

Strawberry blonde curls

Listened to your soft voice

Talk about hard stuff like

Music, alcohol, and getting out of this town

The days Cold War drills

And comments from cruel kids

Would finally escape me

You had to be my first real love

My heart would race to see you

And when you stayed home sick

Walking those tracks never felt lonelier

I wish his fingers never found me that night

I wish running with you could have worked out

But we all know how fast the world 

Can swallow two teenage girls

I have carved more lost loves in my skin than I have room for

I hope I can give up the dream of grabbing your hand to jump on that train that will make everything okay

I hope you can bury my wasted love in your chest and one day the most beautiful flowers will bloom 

That even a cynic like you will be compelled to water them with the tears you cry from remembering me.

~Amber C. Smith (Lammas 2013)