Fall (Consumption Casualties lyrics)

Down the hole I go

Will anyone ever know

Grasping to a dream

That kills my reality

Every time I fall

At least I see the stars

Asphalt and the sky

Sing a lullaby

I twist and turn to find my way

Try to escape the traps they lay

Gingerly walk this wicked trail

Lost and alone looking for home

Falling in your arms

Safe from all that harms

Whisper in my ear

The future begins right here

Every time I fall

At least I see the stars

Asphalt and the sky

Sing a lullaby

The doubts they scream so loud

My mind it can't escape

The ghosts that haunt us now

Always out of reach 

But all too real

Burn it to the ground

Make way for new growth

A Forest lush with hope

Every time I fall

At least I see the stars

Asphalt and the sky

Sing a lullaby

~Amber C. Smith (August 2014)

"One day I will find the right words, and they will be simple." ~Jack Kerouac

I was born in the same town you died in

I took my first breath in Saint Anthony's hospital

Four years after you took your last at the same hospital 

I became obsessed with you at 13

Reading, living, dreaming of your

words

Surrounded by chaos 

In search of adventure

Burning my candle at both ends

Falling too hard

Loving too deeply

Always trying to escape

The gnawing discontent

Watching my loved ones

Struggle with their demons

While trying to control my own

Was a painful existence

I watched the bottle destroy

Too many people I loved 

I fled from this town known as

"God's Waiting Room"

Before it could claim my soul

21 years old crossing the bridge

With tears in my eyes

And a hole tearing through my heart

Coming back home is never easy

And I've been gone too long

It's sad to watch the ones you love

Killing themselves slowly

I visited your old house today on 10th avenue

It felt so lonely

I had the Kerouac special at the Flamingo 

6oz of cheap beer and a shot of whiskey

Hoping it would help ease the pain

Funny how that works 

Loathing something so much 

Yet finding comfort in it

I hope in the end we all truly find peace

I hope in the end we all feel loved

I hope in the end we are released

From all the pain, sadness, and regret 

That we numb ourselves from daily.

~Amber Comber 

Vacant Space

Some days I feel as empty

As this vacant space 

Torn linoleum

Dust

Debris

Exposed wires

Left for no one

Bare boned 

Frayed nerves

Skin inside out

Frightened to be touched

I want to fill this hollowness

To drown out the voices

Screaming of doubt

I want to be enough

For the blue and brown eyes

Staring back at me

But I feel

I am always 

Falling

Short

~Amber C. Smith (May 2014)

Longing for the City

New York I've become so lovesick

Missing everything about you

You took my breath away 

At Grand Central Station

Chelsea, Coney Island, and Brooklyn

Still have pieces of my heart

The random subway shows

The collective energy of people

That buzzes a swirls down

Each and every city block

The thought of the musicians

The amazing poets

The aspiring artists

Who once stood

Where I know stand

Make my knees weak 

And my heart flutter

I can see the history 

Hear the untold stories

Seeping out of every building

You have so much to say

I breathe electric 

With each and every step

Hungry to take you all in

Cathedrals, parks, rooftop sunsets

I could live here my whole life

And never know all of you

I long to return 

To soak you in

Once again.

~Amber C. Smith (May 2014)

Tonight (Consumption Casualties Lyrics)

Feeling all immortal

Acting so dumb

Hating who I've been

And what I've become

Chrous:

Please stay tonight 

Hold me in your light

Wrap me up tight

Just love me tonight

Careless with my needs

So selfish with my wants

All apologies

Won't redeem me

Chorus

Ripe with promises

And Full of regrets

Your judgement

Hangs over my head

Chorus

My knees are bruised 

From kneeling so long

Have I repented enough

For your love 

Chorus

Whiskey and Strangers

He reminded me of you

How you must have looked

Before your dad

Beat you down daily

Before life's responsibilities

Killed your soul

Before the booze 

Claimed your liver

Before the women 

Left you lonely

Before you walked out

On your family 

Here I stand 

Four 

Decades 

Later

In a crowded bar

Whiskey in my hand

Loud music in my ears

Feeling like a lost little girl

From seeing you in

A stranger's face

Memories sharp like knives

How many times will I bleed

Before letting go?

~Amber C. Smith 2014

Snow Kissed

I know your wounds are still fresh

I can taste the salt from your tears

They have left trails for me

To walk in everyday

Head hung low

Heart too heavy

Gasping for air

Some days your eyes clouded

With doubts of the past and

Worry for the future

Will open wide

And be here now

Like a beautiful snow cloud

That blankets all that is ugly

Leaving it so still and pure

We have to shield our eyes
From the naked Sun

And remember to breathe

Being kissed by the magic

Of the falling snow

Our lips wet with promises

Our hearts beating in our throats

This moment is all there is

We are full of hope

We will hold each other

Like nothing has gone wrong

Leaving our past buried 

With this winter snow

Take my trembling hand

I promise to never let go.

~Amber C. Smith 2014