The daughter you always wanted
You were the father I needed
I remember singing in the car
At the top of our lungs
Your zealous love of life and
Desperate need for laughter
Your friends were like brothers
Holding dark secrets
That always left you feeling blue
Yet your door was always open
To each ragged soul
That was passing through
You fought your demons daily
Lashing out to your wife
Fits of rage that would leave
Me and your daughter trembling
Entangled with fear
Bracing for the crash
And waiting for
The monsters to leave
I know you had nightmares
Every time you closed your eyes
You would stay awake for days
Just to escape them
You came back from Vietnam
A broken man
Feverishly
Looking
For the pieces
To put you back together again
I wanted so badly
For you to find that peace
Without having to take your life
Like so many of your friends did
Some in your own home
I know I could empathize with you
But that I would never understand
The horrors that haunted you
Or how to make them go away
It may have been
The alcohol
The drugs
The agent orange
Your body finally gave up
And your mind was finally free
There are moments I miss you
Beyond these words I write
I can still hear you singing
"My brown eyed girl..."
Like you're sitting beside me
Windows down
The ocean breeze
Whipping through my hair
And I smile at these memories
I can't hear Rooster to this day
Without weeping uncontrollably
And wishing I could see you
One
Last
Time...
~Amber C. Smith (October 2014)
