Friday, December 2, 2016

Self Destruct

douse myself 
In geranium oil
To keep 
The wolves 
At bay
I curse
The number 3
Which used 
To Symbolize 
Magic to me
My heart 
Is a flash flood
Warning zone
I can't control 
The water 
That overflows 
From my eyes
This love I give
Without restraint
In the end
Will either 
Save
Or 
Destroy
Me.
❤️Amber Comber (December 2016)

Thursday, December 1, 2016

New Moon Masquerade

You will rise you will fall
You will survive through it all
Make no apologies...
For what you need to be free
Lose your mask
Before they create another
Society is to blame
Hold fast to one another
Before it all fades away

Break, fucking breakdown
Burn it all to the ground
Rise up from the ash
Silencing all their laughs
Cast your stones
Into the abyss
The weight it's
Just holding
You down
The truth
Is there if you're
Ready to see it
Relinquishing control




There you go again
Strangling the light
Can't you see me
Lost in these dreams
There is a beautiful madness
Inside your eyes
One I would like to touch
And climb inside
I am not frightened
Of your demons
Or the coy way
You avoid the light
That surrounds you.
~Amber Comber (November 2016)

Thursday, November 17, 2016

TAROT


I have these seven cups

I have been trying to fill

They always leave me feeling

Less than whole or even real

Searching for something

To quiet the voices of doubt

I am often left alone

To hear them shout

Are these just illusions 

To pass the time

Or is this something safe

I can flourish inside.


~Amber Comber (11/11 insomnia)



Wednesday, August 24, 2016

Easy Heart

I've been collecting
Scraps of wood
Metal objects
Rusted spikes
Barbed wire
Anything to protect 
This heart of mine
That I offer up
Too easily 
For the pummeling
I know...
Constructing this cage
Will never happen 
It has a mind of its own
Untamable and
Ferocious with 
Love.

Amber Comber 2016










Saturday, July 2, 2016

"Pull Yourselves Together Girls"

My Dearest Friend,
I know the time that has passed between us has left us both forever changed, raw in so many ways...
But I also know how strong we both are and I feel like we will make it through anything with more grace, acceptance, and understanding of who we are at our core. Learning to nurture our jagged edges, bruised skin, and weary souls. Eventually being able to revel in the present. Knowing we can't change the past or control the future is probably one of the hardest lessons for me to learn.
I know you said it's true that some days you can't tell if you're limping or dancing and perhaps it's our own hearts that are velveteen rabbits. Worn out...becoming truly alive in the process.

My momma told me that
She has been watching my light dim for years 
She was afraid it would flicker out
completely 
She's always told me that I saved her life
I have been trying to save everyone's life 
Since I could fathom 
How deep my heart was
It was time for me to finally break and
Let someone else help carry the weight
Of this heavy heart of mine 

She says I light up like a firecracker
When he comes around 
She's convinced I was a flapper 
At a Paris jazz club 
In my previous life 
She sees that spark again

I am feeling stronger each day 
Hoping the light will radiate from me 
Chasing away all the shadows 
That stand between
Who I used to be 
And
Who I am becoming...

Amber Comber (July 2016)




Monday, May 23, 2016

Santa Rosa

Santa Rosa was named under a new moon
She was smudged with sage that
Dali and I gathered under the California sun 
I have a twin bed and a lack of belongings
But have never felt like I belonged more
My mind doesn't run circles all night long 
Looking for the best escape route 
The one 
Where
Only
Hurt Myself
And
No one else
I don't feel like I am breathing underwater
Or that I need to hide my unhappiness
Or failed attempts at trying to be happy 
I can just unfurl and finally trust me...
Amber Comber (May 2016)




 
 


Thursday, April 7, 2016

Advice from my Therapist

My therapist said:
"You don't have to leave your anger on my bookshelf over there, it's okay to own it. You have every right to it."

How quickly terms of endearment 
Turn into mean and spiteful 
Pieces of broken promises
Like shattered glass
That I can't wait to spit out
Before I choke on the blood
Before I swallow them
And let them destroy
All the light left within me
Love can be so cruel
Giving you a false sense 
Of security that when it's
Taken away by the selfish 
Hands that gave it to you
You are left shivering and helpless
Begging and groveling for more
Words and memories you shared
Come back in tidal waves
Like multiple stabs to the heart
Still
I sew it up every time
Hoping the sutures hold
Until it's strong enough
To beat on its own
Quivering at the threshold
Betwixt love and hate.


~Amber Comber (April new moon 2016)