Awakening

It's the habitual rituals

That draw me to you

The copper smell on my fingers 

Early morning dew

Coffe hot black

Wine red ready

The magic of the things lost 

Between the cracks of reality

Howling at the full moon

Primal And New...

~Amber C. Smith 2015

Dry Your Eyes

Franz Kofta veggie burgers
Cinnamon and Pears
Feed myself on memories
That fight to enter
My current fucked
State of reality
Life is slipping
Through the cracks
Daily
I am missing bodies
That used to hold me
All I am left with
Are old movies in my mind

And a longing

That gnaws at

The root of me
I know holding on is impossible
Yet my hands are bloodied
From grasping so hard
For too long
And my heart refuses
To forget
That fucking song...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ywAgzAYUFls

Dust

I get the summer sads

Like others get 

The winter blues

These ghosts that rise

And turn to dust 

Filling my lungs

With memories of you

I hope it snows this winter

One good storm

To hide all that

Is ugly about this year

I want the pristine white

To eat away at the darkness

That is creeping in around me...

~Amber C. Smith 2015

Pawn Shop Heart

I have a pawn shop heart

That will never be free

It trust with each 

Tender word

Wanting to believe

But the payments

Never come through

And it breaks more

With each lie

Received 

The trouble with 

Loving addicts

Is you forget

You yourself

Are worthy.

~Amber C. Smith (June 2015)

Water Moccasin

The scent in the air

Reminds me of the river

Being young and naive

The wonder of life

The innocence leaving

The stillness so loud

My heart beat echoed

The rope swing

The watermelon 

The tales of

Water moccasin nest

And the death that followed 

A darkness so deep

The light could never find

A way to penetrate 

The secrets that murky

Water held

The shame in that

Gas station bathroom

Look pretty but

Not too pretty

Run faster 

Scream louder

And when there is blood 

On your mouth 

And skin under your nails

Use it to curse

Him and all the 

Others like him.

Amber C. Smith (June 2015)

Radishes

Radishes remind me of you

Your work worn hands

Cleaning the red skin 

Of the earth still attached 

Your enjoyment of

Sinking your teeth into

Something so vibrant

Beautiful

White

Pure

And always 

Bitter 

In the end

Constant triggers

Fill my eyes

With salt water

The sadness weaves

Through my ribs

Up my spine

Tearing at my flesh

Muscles aching

Recoiled in darkness

Reaching for the light

~Amber C. Smith 2015

Static (Consumption Casualties lyrics)

Here we go

One more time

Same old bullshit

New tired line

Telling me

Things will change

How many times

Before I go insane

Broke my heart

I lost my mind

Still can't see 

What I don't want to find

Say you'll be there 

Oh how you care

What good is that 

If we go nowhere

Chorus: 

Reaching through the static 

To find our frequency 

(X's 3)

The closer we get

The further we fall

Seems impossible

To fucking evolve

You punch through doors

Begging forgiveness

I run away 

Wishing for stillness

My tongue has sharpened

Like a knife

Carving doubts in my mind

You lose your baggage

I'll lose mine

Let's leave this bullshit behind

Chorus

Reading Bukowski 

Into the night

Drinking whiskey

Just to fight

You have the power

To make me rage

I lose my way

More each day

The static grows

With every word

We speak

It's never easy

To just let 

Things be

Close your eyes

Quiet your mind

I know 

You can find me

Just give it time

Chorus

~Amber C. Smith 2015