Mistaken For Deer

Never mistake my
Benevolence
For weakness
It’s taken me
Years to outfox
What society expects
I just smile & play nice
In my hand me down dress
Until I am forced
To remind you
You have no control
Over me
Wishing I could tell
The young girl
I once was
I am no one’s property
Hands like knives
Took that away
From me
My voice may tremble
But its fury will unfurl
Letting you in
Is a sacred act
I implore you
To disprove
All I know.
~Amber Comber

Pure

We are all pure aren't we?

Taking inventory

With the dying light

Will the voices of doubt

Keep quiet tonight

Did I speak my mind

Without coming undone

Filtering the words

My heart can hold

Banishing the poison

That makes it cold

Knowing their words

Of hate and ignorance

Mean nothing to me

It's all so fucking foolish

But they are too blind

To see...

~Amber Comber

Honey Salve

This golden light

Lures me out

In the evening

Gently washing 

The day away

Reminding me 

How letting go

Can be so easy

If I embrace the fall

And trust the path

My tired heart

Has already

Begun to take. 

~Amber Comber

Lost Country Road

Sometimes I take the longer way home

Getting found on dark and winding roads

Whilst getting lost in my head

Soft shoulders always welcome me

When emotion overcomes me

And distant headlights remind me

That I am not alone.

~Amber Comber

Save Yourself

Leaving was the hardest thing I ever did

I know judgement comes so easy 

From my so called family and friends

I beat myself up black and blue

Physically and mentally for years

Numbing my existence with alcohol and pills

I fell twice the winter I decided to save myself 

Right hand attempting to soften the blow 

Of the hard asphalt

I woke up several times last night

Wailing in pain, my shoulder frozen once again

My right arm becomes a useless bunch of frayed nerves 

My fingers forgetting how to grasp anything tangible

The pain creeps up my arm like hot coals

Pinching my shoulder and neck until my head throbs...

In eastern philosophy this is also known as the male side of the body

It's a vivid reminder to me

Of trauma that still needs release.

~Amber Comber (Equinox 2017)

Waking

Morning light 

Filigree 

Lost dreams of 

You and me

Smeared red 

With forgotten 

Love

Black coffee 

Chasing

Last nights 

Restless

Blues away

A full moon

Illuminating

All the shadows

You have cast my way

A snapshot in time 

This isn't where 

I thought 

I would be

But FUCK

It feels good

Finally 

Becoming me.

~Amber Comber

All That’s Missing Is You

Windows open and feeling Fall

I understand about losing it all

I know my dad

Spent days wandering the streets

Ribbons of red falling

from his wrists

Me and my brother miles apart

And an emotional mess

Rehab stints and halfway houses

The late night phone calls 

When the alcohol would speak

Of apologies and missed opportunities

The handwritten letters that I still keep

Confessing regrets and love for me

I don't know which is worse

Worrying if you will survive

Or

Not having to worry anymore...

~Amber Comber

For Grandma Coughlin

What I remember is

The statue of Mary

The roses

Bursting with color

In full bloom

Begging for bees

To taste their nectar

This was your favorite spot

To sit and meditate 

I remember ovaltine

The comfort 

Of your arms

You had 13 children

And never knew how

To adjust the recipe

After they left home

Me and my brother 

Were no match 

For this feast

You, the woman who

Gave to every soul in need

I remember your house

And how empty it felt 

When you left this earth

I was 12 and never felt

A loss so huge

I remember hearing my mom

Weeping

At 3 am 

After working doubles

Imagining the crater that you 

Left in her heart

Would never find sutures...

~Amber Comber

Pretty on the Inside

Wasted offerings

Rituals no one sees

Doubts and ghosts

Strangling growth

Attempting to

Unnerve me

Jagged teeth

Gnaw at my feet

As I move

Mercilessly 

Through all the

Bullshit 

I 

Refuse

To

Let

Destroy

Me.

~Amber Comber

Violet

It's no fucking surprise

I am an open book and 

You're full of lies

I bare my soul and 

You hide your heart

Damning us from the start 

I don't have to remember 

The last story I told 

I don't need cocaine

To make me bold

I used to be afraid 

To get lost in my mind

Now I harness a power 

That you'll never find

I burn this fire myself 

Only 

I harvest this fruit 

To feed me

I'll cut off my arm

Before extending 

My hand again

You're releasing me?

Bitch please

You never owned me!

~Amber Comber (Lammas 2017)

 

Ripe

My bare feet

Are dripping

Wet with rain 

Eating Summer berries 

Bathed in golden honey 

Makes me feel 

Like a 

Fucking

Goddess

I have decided to 

Relish 

In all that brings me 

Joy

Basking in the moment 

As long as I possibly can

Tired of the self sabotage 

That my mind 

Tries to drown me in

It feels amazing 

To come up for air 

And breathe in life 

Once again!💗

~Amber Comber

July 2017

Burn

I have entangled you 

In every fiber

With a searing fire

That needs release

I can't control

The flush of my skin

The spark in my eyes

Or the primal cries

You ignite in me.

~Amber Comber

Summer 2017

Cultivate

I've held the roots

In my palms

Tried to massage

The pain away

Whispered words

Of love and forgiveness 

Pierced the earth

Finding the perfect place

To bask in the sunlight

Gather the rain

And

Finally

Bloom.

~Amber Comber

WHISKEY AND BAD DECISIONS (Trash Room lyrics)

Baby let's meet at my car

We can drive it so far

The only thing that's clear

Is I want the fuck out of here

Chorus:

You taste like whiskey

And bad decisions

And I've waited all day

To lose my mind

Fuck their expectations

I like the way we are

I've got the whiskey

If you've got the time

Everyday is the same

I'm tried of playing the game

My veneer is starting to crack

I'm ready to fucking attack

Chorus

Strap boots on/ Gas me up

Won't be long/ until we're gone

One more town/ one more try

A dusty sunset/ a whiskey sunrise

This city is stealing my soul

I know that it's time to go

I need a partner in crime

Tell me you can be mine

Chorus

Strap boots on/ Gas me up

Won't be long/ until we're gone

One more town/ one more try

A dusty sunset/ a whiskey sunrise

Break

Baby let's meet at my car

We can drive it so far

The only thing that's clear

Is I want the fuck out of here

~Amber Comber

Tide

I'm waiting for my sea legs to find stable ground 

My body still curls into fetal position and quakes

At the memories that brought me here

I have spent years treading water and swallowing the ocean

That I can't control when it overflows from my eyes anymore

I just excuse myself with a smile to find the nearest exit door

Unable to grasp what used to be tangible

Leaves me searching frantically 

I am constantly gathering pieces

Of what used to be me

Hoping to sew them together again

Not apologizing to anyone

For the scars the sutures leave

For the sadness that can
Out of the blue surround me 

And knowing when I smile it will be for me

Not just to make those around me
Feel more at ease.

~Amber Comber

Words Like Daggers (Trash Room lyrics)

I can hear you coming

With your words so hollow

Look into my eyes

I don't believe your lies

Bloody skin and finger nails

Your lies spoken the tall tales

Keep the wolves at bay

Ignoring all they say

They can't hold you down

You wear a fucking crown

Bloody skin and finger nails

Your lies spoken the tall tales

(Believing you could change

Hating you the same) x's 2

I am worthy 

You are nothing (build up and repeat x's)

Repenting on your knees

Won't save you from me

Look in the mirror

You will see what I see

~Amber Comber (Trash Room lyrics)

Identity (Trash Room lyrics)

I will never be 

The person you see

You've replaced

All those parts

To suit your needs

I disappear before

Your eyes

Almost too late

To realize

Chorus:

The crumbs you left

Would never satisfy me

And I won't starve

My soul for nobody

Cast your stones 

Into the abyss

The weight 

It's just holding 

You down

The truth 

Exist

If you let go of control

Chorus

Bruises fade violet to green

What you feel and what you've seen

(Your words can no longer harm me x2)

Chorus 

Repeat 1st

~Amber Comber (Trash Room lyrics)

Silence Equals Defeat (Trash Room lyrics)

Did you think your status would exclude you

Because you look out a window with a better view

In the end you'll crawl across the floor

Begging for someone to give you more

Underneath we're all the same

Some of just won't play the game

You think your so far above 

What you call below

I feel the rage

And the fire grow

Silence equals defeat (X'3)

You will hear me scream

Your words incite 

Hate and fear

Many of us will choose

Not to hear

Your ego won't control us all

I will be around to watch you fall

Silence equals defeat (X'3)

You will hear me scream

Break

Silence equals defeat( X'3)

You will hear me scream

~Amber Comber

Ether (Trash Room lyrics)

Go down- Don't you want to go down

Don't you want to go down- Go down with me

We will rise up- Into the ether

Weightless- Finally free

Kill these ghosts- That haunt your mind

Otherwise- We're wasting time

Fuck the past- Just take my hand

We'll create a new land

X's 2

The world can crumble around us

We will still - Stand tall

Shaking - Laughing

Bruised - From the fall

Repeat 1st

Break Fucking Breakdown

Burn it to the ground

Rise up from the ash

Silence All their Laughs

~Amber Comber

Fold Your Hands (Trash Room lyrics)

Shattered glass/ Rusty nails
Your lies spoken/ The tall tales
Careful/ Don't bruise his ego
Fold your hands/ Bite your tongue


Chorus:
I ain't hanging round no more/ Watch me walk out the door
As you choke on all my words/ You've IGNORED


Cross your legs and smile more
Avoid all eye contact
Clench your fist/ Walk away
Never let him/ See your rage


Chorus
(break)


You will speak but they won't hear
Paralyzed by their own fear
Here he comes/ Here he comes
Laugh it off/ Laugh it off

Look at all you holy people
Lying through your fucking teeth
I call bullshit/ I call hypocrisy
Pull the knives from my back
I'll use them when I attack
Keep pawning pieces of your soul
It will never make you whole

Chorus
(break)


Shattered glass/ Rusty nails
Your lies spoken/ The tall tales
Careful/ Don't bruise his ego
FOLD YOUR HANDS


~Amber Comber (Trash Room lyrics)

This Is Your Warning (Trash Room lyrics)

Come away/ Run away with me
Into the night/ Seeking shelter
No one else can see
The darkness sprawls/ Across the sky
Forget safety/ There's nothing left
But fear/ Consuming me


Chorus: This is your warning/ The sky is falling
 Path of destruction/ A storm is coming


The calm/ In the air
It will pass/ You can't fool me
There's chaos/ In your eyes
And your lies/ Are all I see
The time/ Has come
To stay or run/ Leaving all I know
You're not the one/ To guide me
Through this hell


Chorus x's 2


How ugly we have become
Clutching to the past
To control the outcome (x's 2)


I'm always at war/ With my mind
And my worth/ I try to deny
I always gave you the upper hand
When I should/ have taken a fucking stand
The catalyst for my catharsis
Shivering and shaking
While standing at the precipice
Will I slide into the abyss


Chorus


How ugly we have become
Clutching to the past
To control the outcome (x's 2)

I'm always at war/ With my mind
And my worth/ I try to deny
I always gave you the upper hand
When I should/ have taken a fucking stand



~Amber Comber (Trash Room lyrics)

Derailed (Trash Room lyrics)

I derailed the train/ Just to keep me sane


Created a new track/ Never going back


Fuck what society/ Thinks I should be


Always telling me/ Smile, look pretty

Chorus: Here I come/ Get out of my


Save your words/ There's nothing to say

Wasted so much time/ Lost inside my mind


Always holding me down/ When you come around


You can go on your way/ I'm fine on my own


Never needed you anyway/ I can grow all alone

Chorus

Trying to smother me/ Just makes the flames rise


We were both blind/ To what was right before our eyes


Looking in your rearview/ Won't change a fucking thing


Make peace with the ghosts/ That keep you awake


Dust off the ashes and begin again

Chorus

Repeat 1st verse

Chorus

~Amber Comber (Trash Room lyrics)